8 Things that help me control maladaptive daydreaming
WHEN fantasy Is a paralyzing coping mechanism
If you happen to daydream too often to the point where you experience life through daydreams more than real life, you may be facing maladaptive daydreaming.
If so, this is what has been helping me through the past 2 years, hope it helps you as well:
-Being open about this pattern with people I trust: Having people you trust support you during this process is key, because maladaptive daydreaming is a lot about isolating ourselves. So finding people that won’t judge you and who you can talk to when you’re having a hard time with it, is essential. (If you can’t find anybody, online communities and therapists are great allies, the point is to externalize it!) Eventually this is about trusting in yourself to know you have your back if judgement from others is present, which occurs because most people don’t understand it.
-Not judging myself when I fall back into it: If I fall into the patterns again, I try to not punish me for it and instead allow myself to come back to reality and start over, baby steps, no shame.
-Journaling about my daydreams: Journaling about what I was daydreaming about. And if it’s not a fantasy about me but rather a made up story about fictional characters, I journal about the feelings and emotions I navigated through it. This helps me stay aware and connected about my internal needs, limitations and desires.
-Being honest with myself, meaning, no excuses to justify an episode of maladaptive daydreaming, this not judging myself, this is about not enabling certain episodes with made-up excuses. If I did it, I simply accept I did it and try to bring awareness to what happened instead of finding reasons to justify it or to keep daydreaming (as in maladaptive daydreaming).
-Finding an outlet for self-expression: Finding an outlet that allows me to express myself and what I live through my daydreams. For me this space where I talk about it, and where I also express myself through other subjects I'm interested in helps me a lot. Also taking time during the day to invest my energy doing something else I enjoy, something that helps me take actions towards facing my reality.
-Grounding myself through a physical activity that requires me to be in the moment and in my body. Going to the gym, dancing, walking outside, yoga, touching and playing with my pets. These are some activities that help me ground myself and feel in touch with my external world. I find that activities that require me to catch my breath work best when I feel I'm in a deep episode.
-A healthy diet: I know its a cliché, for every mental health problem a healthy diet and exercise will always be recommended but honestly beyond the chemical reactions in your body, having a routine that focuses on always making an active choice for your health, keeps you aware that you are making good decisions for yourself (take your vitamins!) and that you are able to provide to your body the nutrients it needs so it can help you overcome the worst episodes you might have and to avoid replacing an addiction with another one (sugar is a big one for me and it doesn’t help when I'm avoiding facing something), this not about obsessing with what you eat, but about making a conscious choice and respecting your body’s cues.
-Nurturing patience: Reminding myself this is a long-term journey, maladaptive daydreaming is a serious issue that requires immense support, awareness and TIME. It’s about doing the effort every day, it is about understanding why we choose to disconnect and redefine our commitment and relationship with life. It is more complex than fantasy because it is about reality.
Daydreaming is never the problem, when done healthy it will develop your imagination and gain inspiration to fulfill any task, it should never paralyze you. Maladaptive on the other hand, will feel like living your life within your head INSTEAD of the outside. Maladaptive daydreaming is a paralyzing coping mechanism, so a remedy is externalizing the experience because it brings action and action keeps us in the present.
xoxo, denisse
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When fantasy is a paralyzing coping mechanism